Accepting the country and culture you live in, relationships you encounter, your self-image, your emotions and feelings are not always easy.
Fighting against something that we can’t change drains us, takes a lot of energy. There comes a point when we need to make a decision. Will we allow that situation to further drain us or do we change the way we look at it, accept it?
Just to make sure, acceptance is not the same as giving up, giving approval or surrendering. No, acceptance is a conscious decision we make to “simply be” and to let it be. It’s about to stop fighting what we have in front of us. It’s about freeing ourselves from trying to change or understand something that we can’t.
Accept our feelings and emotions
Thinking about acceptance brought me back to when we moved to Cairo about 10 years ago. Oh, how I struggled in the beginning. The change to Singapore couldn’t have been bigger, my son was then barely 2 years old, my daughter 11 weeks. Needless to say, we had a lot to adjust to. But I remember that I focused all my negativity on being in Cairo those first couples of months.
Then one day, I got tired of myself of being so caught up on the negativity. I knew something had to change for myself. I could not change where we had moved to in the short term, and I didn’t want to move away anyway. But I realised that I needed to change to make this work. I accepted the situation and by that caused a shift in my own approach of life there. I started to not get lost in the bigger picture, but to take the day step by step, focus on small things.
And looking back, those 2.5 years in Cairo were fantastic. No regrets. And I still remember that positive shift I felt inside me when I started to let go of the fighting, how I was able to see and embrace things I didn’t see before.
What I realised when I started to ponder about the whole acceptance topic is that no matter what, it was and will never be easy to get to the point. It can be a rather long and painful process. But when we come to the point of acceptance we free our mind, our feelings and emotions and find ourselves again.
I found in various situations that acceptance
- gave me a breather and
- more headspace
- reduced self-doubts and
- allowed me to regain my strength.
Recently I came to the acceptance of some family dynamics. I’ve tried for a long time to understand. I shared my feelings and thoughts, had discussions that were very emotionally at times. But no matter what way I chose I came to the realisation it’s out of my control how others think and act, as well within the family. And I had to make a decision on how I want to go on for myself, for my own well-being.
It took a lot of effort and time, I struggled along the way, it was emotional. But once I came to the point that I could say “ you know what, I just have to accept that I did all I can and that it is what it is” something inside me shifted.
Acknowledging that I had tried my best and then taking the step to allow myself to be as I am, had a huge positive impact on how I feel now. The situation is still there but I’m accepting it to be there. And I allow my feelings to be there. I’m not closing down the option that things might change in future. But for now, I accept it as what it is and let it be. I will and can’t let it drain me anymore.
Acceptance brought me peace
A sense of ease and relief settled on my mind as my mind stopped spinning. It finally stopped being hung up on the same stuff over and over again. I feel overall less drained, can see things more clearly and focused. I got my energy and some of my easiness back.
How about you, is there something you accepted recently or should learn to accept? And did acceptance bring you some peace, too?
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
All the best to you,
P.S: If you are looking for ways to feel more settled and grounded why not let the “At Ease Toolbox” guide you. It gives ideas on how to connect to our senses to take the pressure away in day-to-day life. Simply sign up here and receive it directly into your inbox!